The Loss That Changed Me

Some losses don’t just hurt — they rearrange you.

Losing Teesha changed the way I understood grief, family, strength, and time. There are things I carried quietly after she passed, moments I didn’t know how to explain, and feelings I didn’t always let people see. For a long time, I learned how to keep moving while still loving someone who was no longer physically here.

This isn’t just a story about loss. It’s about what grief changed in me, what it taught me, and how I slowly learned to live around an absence that never really disappears.

What Grief Looked Like on Me

Grief didn’t always look like crying. Sometimes it looked like staying busy. Sometimes it looked like being strong for everybody else. Sometimes it looked like laughing, getting dressed, going to work, and doing normal things while a part of me still felt completely different inside.

People can see the version of you that keeps going and assume you’re okay. But surviving something and being okay are not always the same thing. I had to learn that healing wasn’t about pretending I was fine — it was about being honest with myself about what I was carrying.

Learning How to Keep Living

At some point, I had to accept that moving forward didn’t mean leaving her behind. I could miss Teesha, love Teesha, talk about Teesha, and still allow myself to laugh, make plans, celebrate wins, and live my life.

That part took time. There can be guilt in having good days after losing someone you love, almost like smiling means you forgot. I had to learn that joy and grief can exist at the same time. Missing her and living fully are not opposites.